February 2012
0 posts
its funny how
when someone that you truly care about hurts you, the next person you care about has to suffer for the first persons actions….. Last time I suddenly stopped hearing from the one I care about, shit went bad… hmmmmm
January 2012
6 posts
Dear blog. I created you in order to help with the pain I was suffering caused by someone that I love dearly. The original point of this blog is no longer relevant in my life. For all who have read so far I appreciate your time, I will still share some thoughts from time to time, some things that are close to me, but also more stuff about my life and person in general. This blog will probably be...
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Suspicion is one of the morbid reactions by which an organism defends itself and seeks another equilibrium. -Nathaline Sarraute
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“There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.” -Albert Einstein.
Not sure if I entirely agree with this. But I do like the quote
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So here I was talking to one of my favorite friends about relationships and marriage. It has become apparent to me recently that I have not ever had a good model for relationships simply because there havent been any successful relationships of people close to me in my life that I could reflect on. My parents are divorced and the same is true with most of my friends. And for the friends that have...
December 2011
20 posts
Been a while that I have properly posted something here. Been busy lately I guess. Lots always going on in life. Had a christmas present arrive in the mail today. that was interesting. Spent all day waiting on getting an alignment done on my mothers car, apparently when you schedule an appointment you dont actually get your car in the shop at that time…. frustrating. anyway ill have some...
Happy christmas day everyone, hopefully you all enjoy it!
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Dear God
Forgive me for my sins……. Wait a second here. So what your telling me is, that I have been put on this shit hole planet, with all of the horrible things that happen in life, made to suffer through heart ache and physical pain, when I never even had a chance to live a life without “sin”. And I am supposed to ask YOU for forgiveness? That does not make any fucking sense.
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Yep, hardest shit in my life, not school, nor work, but the only thing I care about……. I want to be back to this time and date 10:13am 5/21/2011.
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Adulthood
It was on this day, that I became financially independent.
Its expensive all of the things that we take for granted in our lives.
at least I can say I stand on my own two feet and nobody pays for any of my shit anymore.
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post apocalypse
I find myself quite often longing for it. The days with just a couple people in your life, the one you love by your side, a couple of close friends that all work together to keep everyone alive. Sleeping gun in hand to ward off zombies, monster or whatever horror you can imagine and the bandits that haunt the night. No more cell phones, no facebook updates, or money to bother yourself with, just...
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Troubled Sleepless Nights
I thought this wasn’t supposed to happen until your later thirties…….. ugh.
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lol j/k
I hate when someone send you a text and follows it, in the same text mind you, with “lol j/k” Its one of those situations where I simply want to smack the person through the phone and say “hey, do you mean it or not? Stop being so insecure with yourself that anything you say must have a safeguard in case you offend someone. STEP ON SOME FREAKING TOES, jeezis!”
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Subaru
“I love the weightless feeling of flying down a dirt road at 70MPH.”
“I love doing four wheel drive power slides in the rain.”
“I love that my WRX will climb the hill in front of my house from a standstill, while my neighbors F350 Diesel cant.”
Love, its what makes a Subaru a Subaru.
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“ Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. Love still stands when all else has fallen.”
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So I like race cars and rice burners, but what the hell is up with kids hanging stuffed animals off their rear bumpers and tow hooks? *things I may never understand*
“As soon as the sex stops, the marriage will end for me.”
Are you fucking serious? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?
This person should not be married. My respect for this friend went down. A lot….
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so many thoughts race through my head. So many things I want to talk about and put down on this blog. yet for some reason nothing wants to just come out.
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“Of all the things we gain in life, sometimes it seems like the only point is to lose it again, that nothing in life will be permanent, we will lose everything we ever have, our lively hood, our family, our belongings, even our own lives. But the one thing that sticks out that we must not lose no matter what, is ourselves.”
Then it clicked, it just happened. I realized that I am broken. My life will forever suffer for it, I will suffer for it, and the only thing I could possibly do to change it, is not be who I am.
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Faith
Faith is an interesting thing, typically it seems to give people a sense of hope, allowing them to push behind them all of the bothers of their daily life because they have faith that “everything will be okay” or “everything happens for a reason”
Most people put their faith in a higher power, others Karma or yet still others simple things like luck.
Its been quite some...
November 2011
32 posts
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Back to normal life
I think I need to figure out how in the world I can develop the profession of “Life enjoyer”
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Back,
Went to Oklahoma to spend the weekend with my dad and his family for thanksgiving, they are a really fun and very warm group of people. Its great to feel like your a part of someones family just because one person said they liked you, specially when you feel so judged and rejected by the rest of your own blood family.
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How do you tell
When the person you love with all your heart, just doesnt have that same capacity to love you back no matter what their words say?
Thanksgiving
Happy thanksgiving to all the tumblr people and my followers. Hopefully on this day you all have something to be thankful for and can enjoy it with friends and or family.
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#8 Love
I keep meaning to talk about this but, damn there is just so much to cover and so many different things to consider.
Either way, as of right now, until I go back and fill in this post, I believe in love. And that the bonds of “true love” are nearly indestructible.
But I really do want to hear what my followers think about love, just your two cents, Put your thoughts in my ask box...
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Just a small town girl,
Mostly just interested to see if anyone responds to my inbox with the proper finish to that line…
What to do today? Beautiful colorado you have so much to offer but I have no friends to share it with.
Dear God
I always have control of myself… what has happened? When I would pray I asked for patience and understanding, and it was given to me. But in these last couple of very hard months it seems as if I have lost both. Lord its killing me. But I believe that soon you will return patience and understanding to me.
but for now I must simply pray that the bonds of love are stronger than the fucking...
on the plus side
I get to go to oklahoma next week where I will not be able to fuck up anything els here in colorado.
3,2,1 im dumb
Ever do anything that just makes you feel like total shit? Usually I am a very calm and collected person who can let almost anything roll off my back. But last night, seeing my ex, who I still love, who also says she still loves me, at the club with her new boyfriend just made me flip my shit. What I should have done was just say hey happy birthday and leave to do my own thing. But no, I got...
And then i grew a slight hatred towards tumblr, because I was messaged by my “secret admirer” who needs me to create a free account with my credit card so I can see her body pix and guess who it is….. L O L fuckin spams
So this morning I had to tell someone, someone special to me that I love, that given our current situation I cant see them or talk to them anymore. I hated having to say that but honestly, it may have been the healthy choice. It was the hardest thing I have said to any one probably all year. so if you see this, Slippery Gypsy. You know I love you. Im not necessarily saying good bye forever, but...
If two past lovers can remain friends, it's either...
Veterans day
So the other day being veterans day left me with some conflicted feelings.
I appreciate our veterans quite a bit. They sacrifice a lot of their personal freedoms for their job. These freedoms are something that I often don’t feel I could sacrifice myself. But without them our freedoms would be sacrificed.
The conflicted feelings come in because I love and hate our soldiers right now. ...
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“Think like a man of action, and act like a man of thought.”
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“You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him.”
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Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win. - Jonathan Kozel
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“The only time you run out of chances is when you stop taking them.”
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He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened. - Lao Tzu
This is a truly awesome quote…. Note to self on enlightenment, search your own soul first.
I hear your voice when no-ones around
Im sittin here when Im losing ground
Feel like the earth moved under my feet
I feel you in every single heart beat
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Guns don’t kill people — people do.
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Never forget what a man says to you when he is angry. - Henry Ward Beecher
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Be wiser than other people if you can, but do not tell them so. - Lord Chesterfield